In my earlier post, I mentioned falling in serious like with a boy, we’ll call him the Democrat (“Dem” for short), and getting dumped right before Christmas. We had known each other for awhile and actually worked in offices right next to one another for an entire year without anything happening. Then just a month after our jobs ended and we were no longer office neighbors, Dem revealed that he had a huge crush on me and wanted to date me. This was a big and extraordinarly complex revealation because he had dated one of my very good friends for quite some time and they had broken up about three months before this Big Reveal. A few weeks of soul-searching later, I had gained a boyfriend and lost a good friend. To those few people who may actually be reading this and don’t know me, this was one of the toughest decisions I’ve ever made. I had this great guy standing in front of me who I got along with so well and this close friend who didn’t want him back but certainly didn’t want him to be with me. There is so much more to say about that decision and how knowing how things turned out, I probably wouldn’t have chosen like I did, but hindsight is 20/20 and sometimes you just have to take a chance and hope you don’t get your heart stomped on.
But, readers, this is ME. Of COURSE it didn’t work out. (the full backstory on how things don’t seem to work out as I’ve planned, and in the most ridiculously painful and hilarious ways ,can be found at my old stomping grounds: www.lawyeringthroughlife.blogspot.com.) Three relatively happy months later, Dem decides he isn’t really cut out for relationships or marriage or, it turns out, me for that matter and breaks up with me. Again the week before Christmas. For those counting, that would be the third time in four years. I’ve decided I am not allowed to date in December.
So we break up. I am obviously very sad not only because of the circumstances under which we got together, but because man, did I really like this guy. He made me happy in a way I had just never felt before, not with Treehugger, not with anyone. He made me happy in a way I didn’t know I was even capable of feeling.
But, enough about the happiness. It didn’t work out. He desperately wanted to still be friends and we tried that for a few months, and when I joined Facebook (I know, I know, I am too old for social networking sites, but there is some good info on people out there and far more effective than googling someone), we were Facebook friends. But after constant updates of “Dem has been tagged in yet another picture with his arm around yet another girl”, this girl had enough and I de-friended him. It felt like a pretty drastic step, (a fact not lost on Facebook which warned me “Are you sure you want to de-friend Dem? Once done, this step cannot be undone.”) I clicked yes and moved on. Facebook also confirmed that Dem would not be informed of my action.
And as silly as it sounds, it really helped me forget about him. I still thought about him but the thinking about him was more natural and less painful than Facebook constantly reminding me to think about him.
So today, I am working away and cursing the summary judgment brief I am writing as it is one of those perfect D.C. days where the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, and it is not yet summer in D.C. with all the uncomfortable humidity that season brings.
And I get the following email from Dem:
“Did you de-friend me on Facebook?”
I struggle with my reply because I honestly didn’t do it to be spiteful and Dem takes my actions to distance myself from him rather personally (he was very sad to hear that I blocked him on gchat – don’t boys ever have to take steps to save themselves from themselves?) (which as another aside, I find highly ironical as he did break up with me, the epitome of distancing yourself from someone).
Apparently Facebook suggested me to Dem as a possible friend. He said to himself, “I thought I was friends with Jersey”, and when he went to confirm that, lo and behold, we were no longer friends. Hence the accusatory email.
With all the technology on Facebook, suggesting friends, Super Pokin’, SuperWalls, FunWalls, Fun Pokin’, Twittering, (I honestly don’t know what any of these are), the geniuses behind Facebook don’t keep a log of people who don’t wish to be friends? It seems the technical aptitude to maintain such a list would be significantly less than the techonology required to create elaborate movie quizzes and then allow people to compare their scores.
So, what’s next, Facebook? You going to start publishing my secrets on my Wall? Filling in my status message for me? Maybe let people know how often I view their page despite the fact that my Feed tells me there have been no updates? I fear my relationship with Facebook is going to be short-lived unless Facebook starts playing by its own rules.
